My Magical Home Birth

This experience has been so enriching and rewarding that I'm glad it went the way it did. Granted, it wasn't the smoothest labour compared to my first - I was told so many times second births are faster but not in my case.

I'm still recuperating rather slowly but feeling so much better as the days and weeks passed. My body will only get stronger, my wound will heal, my mood will improve, things will get better. For now, I rest while I share the story of my amazing home birth.

The fact that it coincide around my late younger sister's first death anniversary was both an emotional and spiritual thing for me. I lost count of the number of times I prayed for strength and for this new chapter in our lives to mend our broken hearts.

Having gone through the Bradley Method antenatal course the first time round was very useful in preparing my birth. The subsequent Love Based Birth classes was an important and essential refresher. I absolutely loved attending every single classes conducted by both courses. It was all I needed to have a positive mindset and the awareness of what to expect, a crucial asset for any births.

Being very in tune with my body and baby, I started making big batches of bone broths for my confinement as well as the actual labour to nourish my body and prepare for Elijah's arrival.

I even had very specific prayer request - for baby to come after week 39 for personal and health reasons so he can benefit from being a full term baby. At the same time, I'm fully committed to God's plan, whenever baby is ready, so will I be.

I became very nervous in week 38 as I counted down to week 39, not knowing what to expect but always trusting in my body's ability to know what to do. 

Around the same time, Nick was invited to catch his childhood idol, Juventus, play at the National Stadium. The match was set for Sunday night.

By then, I had formed a niggling feeling baby will be due around the weekend period. I kept it to myself and basically gave him the green light to accept the invitation. That was the first real start of anticipation that our baby is coming, even though I was the only one who knew. I started dropping preemptive updates to my birth support team in our group chat.

Over the course of 1-2 days, that niggling feeling grew and heightened and I couldn't ignore it. Nick was the first person I broke my silence to: I had strong instinct my labour will take place from Saturday to Sunday, and Elijah will be out by Sunday morning. He had to unaccept the invitation.

The day finally came.

True enough, my surges (contractions) intensified gradually overnight. Thankfully, it was similar to my first birth. A textbook birth as I call it. The gradual process helped me make sense of the pain and manage it in a way my body could and would bear. I didn't think I've a high pain threshold, so nothing too sudden for me would be nice.

I shared with my care practitioner about my intuition: That I'll labour from Saturday to Sunday, giving birth on Sunday morning. However, my strong surges are telling me a different thing - I could deliver by midnight.

I activated my birth team on Saturday evening, they arrived no later than 9pm.

The birth pool was set up, and birth supplies all within reach for the action.

Game on.

Nick supported me through my earlier contractions before the team arrived, with lots of hip squeezes to alleviate the contraction pains. Strangely, by the time they arrived my surges had slowed down drastically. 

Something changed when I went into the pool ready to birth as my body is telling me to push - my surges had tapered off rather abruptly. It meant one thing: It was no good birthing in the pool, my plans for a gentle home water birth flew out the window in a second.

I knew I had to step out of my comfort zone and trust the process. This was a huge shift in direction. I don't remember feeling sad or angry, I just went with the flow and adapted quickly, much to my birth team's relief I think. I credit this to the many consultations and discussions I had with my care practitioner, we had built trust and understanding, I know I'm in good hands regardless of my plans. It was the one thing I didn't doubt throughout my whole labour.

I thought, God's will - so be it - as long as I'm in good hands, God's loving hands and the people he had surrounded me with.

My contractions became very irregular after that. I breathed deeply through every single one of them. No visualisation or hypnobirthing exercises for me, I tried practicing during pregnancy but couldn't see myself doing it. During one intense surge, I heard a low and lovely sound breathing exercise coming from my team and I followed eagerly. "OOOOOOOMMMMmmmm~" I bellowed before mellowing to a halt. It felt so good! I will practice it for my third birth. Ha!

An awful amount of time has passed. My labour was stuck in the transition phase for a long enough time - shivering, urge to push, painful contractions - but nothing was happening. I was kept hydrated after every surge but the whole process of nothing happening with every uneventful surge took the wind out of me. I declared exhaustion, and was offered food to fuel up. I was fed Royce chocolates.

I got into so many different positions to try and push him out to no avail. Finally, my birth photographer Keidi who's also a practising doula suggested a spinning baby method to disengage baby's head from my pelvic bone so he could reposition himself for birth (assuming he got into a bad position). I had to say that was the most painful thing ever but it worked! I was so grateful for all the loving hands that held mine while I was working through this.

Almost 7am on a quiet Sunday morning, as I had predicted, the magical hour that Elijah arrived to a roomful of loving and gentle hands. He appeared undistressed and curious, just like his big sister.

I was stitched up while nursing Elijah, simultaneously working through the nasty after pains from my uterus shrinking. 

Elijah's measurements were taken and his health status examined. We then took pictures in bed. Bethany was so excited to meet her little brother.

We are now a family of four.