i just realized

we will never be the same again.

we keep walking in opposite directions. when we slow down, throw a backward glance over our shoulders, pause to think, the same is not really the same.

you keep running back to the exact scene that made you run forward. how many times have you let your guards down when it should be up? amble ahead when you should stop and think? stand when you should sit? work when you should take a break? grieve when you should smile?

pardon my wistfulness but happiness didn't always come easy.

and sometimes happiness can be quite phony.

when it rains, it pours

too much updates for the past week. before i start i want to do a shoutout to my lovely peoples who took the time to listen. i always say my friends influence me well. when people tell me they think i've got great energy, i reply "you haven't met my friends"!

well something really awful happened at work. i can't divulge much cos it's rather personal. but i really feel deeper appreciation for having the greatest bosses and colleagues in the world after the whole ordeal was through. let's just say i truly believe in good karma now.

i feel like i've just returned from the dead. i feel alive, re-inspired, and very uplifted by the past week's eventfulness. i feel like i can climb mount everest and not pant.

the week that passed was a series of ups and downs. ironically, the downs sweetened the ups indefinitely. but it was a sick sick week and i never want to be put through that again.

for now, i badly need a hug, some chill out sessions, dancing would be good, and so is some vino or a couple of almighty drinks. all i want is to have some fun this weekend.

one of the ups includes rubbing off some of lawrence's birthday luck. we were supposed to do the grandstand this sat for the F1 race but something much better came along! thanks to him, i'm going to watch F1 from the gallery at a nominal fee. i'm freaking thrilled! seriously, what luck to be watching the race from the rooftop. that is one helluva privileged access.

though one bad thing spawned many good things, i will make sure that's the last of it (the bad not the good).

god damn i need a super computer. i took an hour to post this simple entry which would normally have taken me 15 minutes.

well, i'm in a good mood and nothing can tear me down right now!

here's to a super good weekend ahead.

i wanna feel pampered

you realized you are getting older when you have more weddings to attend:

September - Anya and Firuz, my boss'

October - Sheena's sis Sherlynn

December - Daffy and XJ

you start to worry about things like money, wrinkles, love handles, and finding a nice man who doesn't irritate you.

anyway, we celebrated ying's 25th on friday. trying to dump all the pictures online and load it up on facebook. ying loved those photos so i'm going to load it all up for her tonight, despite being dog tired.

the girl is suffering from jet lag. i hope you're feeling much better today! :)

the bad people

last sunday's turnout was whittled down to four players. just enough to play doubles. it was intense cos we really worked that body. it's four days past and my aches have only just calm down. i'd love to play badminton on a more regular basis. it was fun.



this was comfort food after the game which i missed so very much.
this is also cia's must-have almost every single time we were there.

a good 2-3 months have passed since i last played bad. in fact, it has been that long since i last played volleyball, wakeboard or even went for a jog. at least the knee is nearing 100% recovery now, given the long effective rest.

team A consisted of cat and oya whom were both funny as hell as they bickered to and fro back and forth


team B is just myself and tl (who came from a soccer game prior to this and got a shock when he realized he is expected to double for 2 hours. make that non-stop.)

he's seriously freaking agile and zoomed around the court like a flying bat. doubling with him was fun but serious. also, his reflexes were so quick that we often crossed racquets.

two sporty girls for your pick
(although one is already off the shelf)

it is time to destress. i'm beaming with interest for some coxy time next saturday at dear zouk. right after the F1 race which i'm going to watch with lawrence from the grandstand! exciting weekend coming up hopefully. a pity that cia who was supposed to join us can't make it due to a wedding dinner. :( oh well, i even tried my luck to ask her whether she can skip the wedding dinner. but as i recounted, of cos she's right, "it's a wedding dinner ley".

if the boss is reading this

i have to confess i'm indescribably touched.

well, you rock.

in. every. sense. of. the. word.

:)

the badminton people

going cardio crazy.


more photos awaits..

the Wan banter

my sister has the most interesting way of looking at things sometimes.

this is what happened.

i am at my most relaxed when i am in my home wear, sans brassiere, a commonality in most homes.

noting the hot weather, i opted for a cottony white 1-piece slip-on as sleep wear tonight. while i was clipping up my fringe in the room, i heard the sister greet the mom. she has reached home and had announced with great enthusiasm to the mom that she's cooking dinner. i also heard ronald's voice drifting into the room.

the sister came into the room shortly after that and saw me changing out of my white slip-on.

"don't have to change out of your clothes. it's just ronald."

"right. i'm sure he wouldn't mind. besides, it's translucent and low cut."

to my surprise, the sister took one glance at the obviously exposed cleavage and said "oh i didn't notice that."

well, that wasn't all.

while huddling around the tv with our pre dinner munchies, i said to the sister with mischief "guess who finally changed mom's message alert tone today?"

(mom's message alert tone has always been timberland's apologize for the longest time. we often joked we would change it without mom knowing.)

with muffled laughter, the sister asked "does mom knows?"

"nope but she will when the next message comes in."

*********************************************************************

i managed to sort out the reaction button below the post. i had it activated some weeks ago when i overhauled the blog but it wouldn't show. so last night i finally had some troubleshooting done and, voila! =)

sam tsui has talent

if you haven't seen this on yahoo's top feature, i urge you to watch this now.


a guy with a nice voice has very high appeal to me. especially when they can sing so well.

there are more of him here.

i will be looking out for his productions in future. i'm really digging it right now.

memories are like aged wine, the older the better

woke up to a bad stomach this morning and i really had to go at once. we had a quasi communal dinner along one of those restaurant type eateries at capitol building (opposite cityhall station) in which i ate really little compared to normal and thus have no rationale for my upset stomach. perhaps my food was laced with “special ingredient”.

it was easy to recall what i ate. during an impromptu lunch with terence, eugene and ericia yesterday, i had noodles and i had it again for dinner with cat, yongan and ericia (it seems like ages ago when many a times the two of us would meet up to twice in a day and yesterday was terrific as such). both times my meals were more than half unfinished. appetite literally went down by half. i have no idea why except that it could just be a passing phase. my cravings have been geared towards sweeter and savoury stuff. i know i shouldn’t have ice cream (due to period cramps) but i couldn’t resist when we pass mcdonalds. another thing i’ve wanted to re-introduce to my diet is juicing. i need a new juicer to replace the cranky one. i miss the goodness of juicing. i’d do it now if i have a juicer. but i need to prioritize my spending. and juicing might just have to wait till next month. i’m not sure if my lack of appetite is resulted from stress. perhaps it was the past two stressful weekends working from home. you can be sure i’m looking forward to this one with much fervor since i hadn’t enjoyed the past two.

i’m toying with the idea of unlocking my old blog entries. to be honest, i first asked myself for permission to re-read old entries. i didn't want to bring up indignation from within no matter how righteous it seems. the pre-requisite was that i had to be emotionally balanced and as a matter of fact, i just spent the past two nights chuckling, smiling and indulging in older and dearer long-lost memories of yesteryear. while there was sadness that tugged at my heartstrings, i realized i chronicled mostly good times. more saliently, the best times were chronicled around school, group studies, outings, friendship, a little of struggling with keeping my emotional battle in check, and how my general attitude was formed towards life. of course, and happier times when i was in love. it pretty much generates positive vibes reflective of the current self i present to the world today. at least that's what i feel.

in retrospect, i felt i have forgotten how to be a girlfriend. the last i checked, i'm single for two and a half years now. i don't know if that's possible but that's pretty much how i feel right now. i also realized that many times i make plans based on how i feel and every futuristic plan exclude an important outlook on love. at times, i have a very sticky stand on things. and i have criterias now, compared to just a couple of years ago.

i don't have much pet peeves and is actually quite nice but a default way to irk me would be to impose your views on my beliefs with gusto. i respect every opinion because each is entitled to his or her own. i like a good challenge but sometimes very close friends would enforce their values on me and i'd always let it slide cos i know it's with kind intent. i want to bring joy to people. sometimes i wish people can see that.

anyway, i’m going to start loosening some leg muscles this weekend. i lugged home my running shoes after working out at the club yesterday. ericia is having a stay over at zizhong’s prearranged birthday chalet with the “hehs” clique. i know for sure she’s going to have an exciting albeit exhausting weekend. i’d love to have her as a movie companion tonight but she’s zipping off to help out after work. instead, i might probably just catch it on my own.

Up, here goes nothing. =)

as it is

above were actual photos of Coco Chanel whilst she lived. i grew curious about her looks and started milling around the internet. glad to emerge none the disappointed. the movie itself would have made for a very outstanding marketing campaign.

"...it is very sad that she apparently never realised that the way to close relationships – to love – is to love unconditionally, without reservation, judgment or deception. We never achieve the ideal in our human relationships, corrupted as we are rebellion against God and thus tainted by pride and selfishness, but this is what we must aim for. The alternative, as Coco shows, is to rely on a constructed image, which cannot finally satisfy us."

better to lose your ego to the one you love than lose the one you love because of ego, or something to that effect, is rather poignant as i've experienced.

one of the first close friend of mine is getting married today at the art house. i'm feeling a mixture of emotions. but would still like to congratulate the couple, Anya and Firuz. a sincere toast to a lifetime of happiness.

thoughts that interrupted the morning stride

there's been a lot on my mind these days. i'm itching for a change. i just can't put a steady finger to what it is.

perhaps there is a part of me who's just dying to challenge this status quo. and a part from watching Coco Avant Chanel.

a funny incident happened in the theatre. i was looking forward to settle down comfortably since i was watching a movie alone for the first time. as i approached my allotted seat, i saw another figure in it. i thought she'd understood if i just showed her my ticket stub but to my surprise she fished out hers instead. turned out we were allotted the same seat. dang! correct cinema, check. correct movie, check. i waited around 5 mins before being shown to another seat.

minor disruption aside, everyone ought to go for this little astonishing piece. the movie is in french and every bit as lovely as it's made out to be. i enjoyed watching how the movie unfolds. Coco would have been very proud. obviously the elegant threads were to die for. but of course, elegance has its price. having said that, audrey tautou made it effortless to watch a hundred times over.

anyhow, vincent called up one friday evening quasi teasing whilst demanding to meet me. i stared at the ringing phone for approx. 30 seconds before the face and name registered in my semi relaxant weekend mode. where the only plan for the night had been to catch a movie and then head home to catch up on snoozes was extended to a dinner date of cream mussels and prawn spaghetti.

it was a night i've often dreamed about and it felt pretty darn surreal that he materialized infront of me, with that same cheeky demeanour intact. well, any apprehensions were cleared up that night. s'pose we were really glad for the way things have developed ever since we lost touch for over 4 years.

he wanted to know all about the ''shocking news'' which is no longer as so the moment you've transcend the initial shock for slightly more than 2 years. i, in turn, wanted to know all about the beginning of his...elusiveness.

i'm still grinning fondly at the memories of last week. needless to tell, there was nary a quiet moment during the reunion. :)

i'll leave you with a quote i can associate very well with after i chopped off my locks,

''When a woman cuts her hair, her life is about to change.'' - Coco Avant Chanel

that, guys, is no lie.

two old souls and a life-altering reunion

all these years apart

i thought you were gone.

but you came back.

i missed you more than i've let out.

just stay.

for once.