Speechless (Laryngitis)

My voice box is inflamed. In other words, I lost my voice.

Last Monday, I fell sick with fever, flu, cough, the whole works. The kids passed it to me, probably Elijah. He's been sick the whole damn month. He got better, then fell sick again (secondary infection) and finally passed his second infection to Beth (zzz) and I (ZZZ). Nick isn't spared too.

Our immunity seems compromised post-covid. We caught it mid March as a family from Elijah's school. Two weeks aft recovery, Elijah fell sick from other viral infection and has been plagued with a few rounds of yet another viral infection.

Anyway, I was convalescing well from Monday's illness, until last Friday; I came down with another fever, flu and yes cough. Couldn't roll my eyes hard enough.

Seriously?! 

I went to the doc in case I needed antibiotics. Well, the doc examined me and said I should monitor. The following day, I lost my voice. Laryngitis is the condition causing voice loss. Unbelievable, another viral infection, again!

It's hilarious. I can't parent without my voice, can I? Or so I thought. I certainly couldn't shout, that's for sure. I could barely whisper. Initially, Nick got frustrated whenever I try to tell him something. I then got frustrated with him being frustrated at me. 

I haven't projected my voice for 3 days, and I tell you, parenting is possible without voice. I found myself more patient with them, less shouty (pun intended). With Nick, he became less harsh, more tolerant of my new found speechless form of communication. One thing is for sure, he is not a lip reader. Another thing, he is also not a mind reader. Nick is the worst at second guessing, becos he doesn't even first guess. Honestly, Nick can never be another soul mate to anyone. He doesn't complete anyone's sentences, let alone mine, becos he doesn't even try. That is his main problem.

I digress. 

Not being able to use my voice can feel pretty hopeless. I can't order food at coffeeshops so Nick has to do it. I can't tell the kids off, so I glared at him to do it. He reluctantly tell them off half heartedly on my behalf. I laughed when Elijah repeatedly jumped to hit the switch and turn off the light while Nick was helping Bethany in the toilet. Nick got pissed after coming out to turn on the lights a few times. I laughed soundlessly becos he went really low like a full squat to achieve that spring high enough to hit the switch. I thought that was pretty clever and appropriate behaviour for an almost 3yo. Admittedly, I laughed becos I can't use my voice at him. 

I was also coughing badly, which strained my voice box further. I couldn't sleep one night after a particular bad bout of coughing, and promptly told Nick we should go out so I can finally get some sleep.

We went to the Barrage. Lovely weather, I almost fell asleep, if not for the kids climbing all over me.

Trying not to look pissed at Elijah stepping over me

Day 4 of voice loss continues.

Convalescing Deux

Zzz. Second bout of tonsillitis. Round two of meds and antibiotics. Must be the haze. We need a giant fan to blow them away!

Craving for an iced cold beer to soothe my throat after dinner so we went to his parents' pub. Didn't want it to interact with my antibiotics and decided to go for a Radler. Best thing ever if you don't want to drink the real deal. I love Radler. 

Brow Resurrection + Eye Define (With Images)

Slept the whole day to stave off the fever and boy, do I feel ten times better than I did this morning. I'm on extended MC but I hope I don't get to use it. Pray that my fever doesn't come back tonight.

Time for something productive after sleeping so much. Was looking through some photos and found these meant for a blog archive sometime back. 

In August 2012, I went for the BR + ED package promo which set me back about $1.6k. To chart my journey, I also took photos on the day of my brow and eyeliner job. 

As I looked back on my new brows, I realised it was too dark initially but had faded to a nice natural gray after about 6 months or so. Around the same time, I decided I wanted bangs and had it for about a year before I grew out a side fringe. Alas! My brows had no chance to show itself off. 

2 years on, I could still get away without drawing my brows or putting on mascara thanks to BR + ED. 

 This was, I think, 1-3 months post BR and ED

Scrubbed face, sans makeup, natural light

Best look of my life

 Brows look harsher indoors

 Most current look circa December 2013

Brows are drawn in using brown pencil to soften the look

 Also taken in December 2013

This was taken after my submerged water baptism

No makeup and brows weren't drawn

 One of the first few bangs I spotted

Brows weren't drawn

Annie, my stylist, commented that my brows was too harsh

Most of the time my bangs look like this

Completely covered my brows

The photos below will chronicle my process with BR + ED. I thought the BR was more painful than ED. Some of my friends thought otherwise. When I went for my touch up 3 months later, it was the other way round. Till date, I can only say that I may or may not go back for BR but ED is something I'll probably consider doing again because I have very light looking lash line. 

 Before BR + ED

 Before BR + ED

 3 colours to choose from

I went for the darkest shade (top) because I wanted it to last longer and it matched my black hair then

Swatch from top-bottom: Black, Grey, Brown

 After BR + ED

 After BR + ED

Perfecto brows!

Weird sleeping habit

Roused from my sleep with sweat on my back. And so the coughing fit starts. It has been like this for the past few days. Never a good night's rest. The fever came back again when I was at work on Monday. It wouldn't have felt so bad if the medicine actually work.

Seen 3 doctors over the week and got new or re-prescription but still no progress. Wow. It must be one kind of resilient virus. 

Sick health aside. I'm going to KL for ASOT in March! It's been a long awaited trip. Still with the same group I went with to Melaka for Freedom years ago. Which was a blast. 

Should probably update that I just did Root Canal Treatment over CNY. Worst decision ever. I'd show you pictures but it's not a pretty sight. 

Never again. I can't warn my friends and family enough about this. Not worth the pain and trouble to end up with having a dead tooth in your mouth. Pain is probably the only thing you'll take away from the therapy and nothing else. 

It's expensive ($2000+), super troublesome (3 rounds of RCT plus 2 rounds of crowning), and you still need to care for it like you would your other teeth despite it being a dead tooth (meaning you can't feel pain). And you basically pray that you take such good care of it, it won't decay (yes it can) in the near future so that you don't have to PLUCK IT OUT. Yes, eventually. See how it's not worth the trouble?

Its already 6am. I should try going back to sleep. 

Sickies

Outrageously awake. Drugs coursing through my veins pumping me up at this hour. Having a really bad backflow.

Fever is coming on and off as it pleases. Parents just got home at this hour. Nice to have company for once. 

Shall refuel and feed on my meds.

Convalescing

First sick leave taken for the year. An achievement given that I literally bulldozed through January in a healthy state. Was looking at my average MCs taken last year and found that I took approximately 1 MC per month. Hmm. Very interesting.

Anyway, I'm down with tonsillitis and recovering from a fever caused by my throat inflammation. Haven't had fever for so long I forgot how it felt. Thankful for my buddy at work who is holding the fort while I'm resting. And really helpful to have Nick by my side when my body refuses to cooperate. 

Not one to be okay about falling sick. Most of the time I can be in denial until the diagnosis is made and I don't have a choice but to admit that I need to rest. 

I'm a little stubborn that way. 

Had a really bad dream (probably cos I'm sick) and was woken up by a coughing fit. And secretly relieved to see Nick already awake and glancing at me while patting the chest to comfort my coughiness. 

Came across this article on Facebook from ThoughtCatalog. Felt a strong emotion tug at my heart and knew I somehow had to archive this. 

How The People We Once Loved Become Strangers Again

FEB. 19, 2014 By BRIANNA WIEST

It’s interesting to think about how we make people who used to be everything into nothing again. How we learn to forget. How we force forgetting. What we put in place of them in the interim. The dynamics afterward always tell you more than what the relationship did — grief is a faster teacher than joy – but what does it mean when you cycle out to being strangers again? Because you never really stop knowing each other in that way. Maybe there’s no choice but to make them someone different in your mind, not the person who knew your daily anxieties and what you looked like naked and what made you cry and how much you loved them.

When our lives revolve around someone, they don’t just stop revolving around them even if all that’s left is the grief and pain that comes with their memory. Because you loved them, there will always be parts of them that linger. The memories that are impressed on the places you went and the things you said and the songs you listened to will remain. We all eventually find ourselves standing in the checkout line, hearing one of those songs come on and realizing that all of a sudden, we’re revolving around them again. And maybe we never stopped.

Do you ever really forget your lovers’ birthdays, or all your first times, intimate and not? Do your anniversaries ever become normal days of the year again? Are the things you did and promises you made ever really neutralized? Do they become void now that you’re broken up or do you decidedly ignore them because there’s simply no other choice? The mind tells you to go on, and forces your heart to follow suit I guess.

I want to believe that you either love someone, in some way, forever, or you never really loved them at all. That once two reactive chemicals cross both are changed. That the wounds we leave in people are sometimes too raw to risk falling back into them. I don’t want to believe that we write each other off because we simply don’t matter anymore. I know love isn’t expendable. I wonder, and maybe hope, if we ever just force it to be out of that necessity.

Maybe it’s just that we’re all at the centers of our own little universes, and sometimes they overlap with other people’s, and that small bit of intersection leaves some part of it changed; that’s where we grow together. The collision can wreck us, change us, shift us; sometimes we become eternally undetachable and connected and other times we decidedly move away because the change required to accept another person’s universe colliding with yours is a safety we don’t want to leave. Either way, it’s inevitable that your universe expands. That you’re left knowing that much more about love and what it can do, and the pain that only a hole in your heart can bring. Whether or not that hole will ever again include the person who made it that way, that’s for you to decide.

We all start as strangers. The choices we make in terms of love are usually ones that seem inevitable anyway. We find people irrationally compelling. We find souls made of the same stuff ours are. We find classmates and partners and neighbors and family friends and cousins and sisters and our lives intersect in a way that makes them feel like they couldn’t have ever been separate. And this is lovely. But the ease and access isn’t what we crave. It isn’t what I’m writing about right now. It isn’t what we revolve around after it’s gone. We are all just waiting for another universe to collide with ours, to change what we can’t ourselves. To fill us, to make us whole. It’s interesting how afterwards, we realize that the storm returns to calm, but the stars are always changed and we don’t choose whose collisions change us. We all start as strangers. But we forget that often, the only thing we do choose is who ends up a stranger too.

Poor in health but rich in spirit!

Hello! Haven't been in here for a really long time. I wonder who still reads this blog.

I'm really in the mood to post something today so here goes.

Who still remembers my bad archilles heel? I'm not an injury prone person but for some reason, yoga is really destroying my body. I've endured badly strained wrist, swollen archilles tendon and a painfully strained neck. I wonder if I should take it easy with yoga or just stop completely. Taking it easy is not a problem but it'll feel like I didn't do much at the end of the session and it's really a waste of my effort and time.

In the midst of all these, I'm anticipating my period and I've gotten the viral bug. Currently nursing a sore lymph node and blocked ears cum nose. I actually seund lik tis naw *pinched nose*

The best thing about being sick is to be ridiculously pampered. Not that the pamperer can take away my sickness but just having someone around to check on you feels good.

My boyfriend is like my rock. Solid and immovable. I know I can lean on him for life. Exactly what I'm going to do.

I'm on sick leave today but I'm not at all down in spirits. I feel darn sleepy though and can't wait to reach home and rest.

On a side note, I'm leaving for a church camp to KL in 3 weeks. Can't wait to bask in His presence and hear His words. In September, I'm heading to Bali, Indonesia with Ying. Our second trip together in a while. Gonna be fun! It's going to be an extended holiday as we'll jet set to Jakarta after that to meet with Manda, Sheena and Nick. It's all going to be great!

Hopefully I'll muster up enough energy to blog about my Taiwan trip next.

how i spent my weekend

it was a dearly loved up week. kujen is finally back from perth. the hype we engaged in over his return was finally brought down to a low as we cozied up for an after dinner beer session. later on, we pulled an overnight singing party (which we favoured over winebar) and cia joined our gang of lovely andersonians.

sunday was spent resting away to recharge and at the stroke of 9pm, the guys - chris, bx and yongan - gathered at my apartment for leisure gambling/mj.

monday blues not happening. but i'm feeling the heat from the weekend.

in fact, the weekend started early on friday. in which we quarubared with cat the super cute, cia, crystal and a bunch of crys' quirky/wacky friends.

in a nutshell, i might have been overdoing things and generally getting burnt out. when i heard my voice this morning, i was barely audible. at best, it was a squeak.

also, i'm orally ulcerated, physically drained and experiencing a looming migraine that's recurring.

but guess what?

it was meaningfully spent. and i'd still do it all over again :)

convalescing

maybe i will have a restful stay-in weekend.

and cancel all plans.

only if im still wheezing.

but probably i will. as its not looking rosy.

=(

i will confine myself to bed. now.

not feeling such a warrior anymore.

my health has been an interesting topic.

it require tonnes of TLC.

work beckons

i havent done a lot of good to my body recently. it's protesting heaps.

its going to take me a lot more to make up for all that weak immune system i've unintentionally subjected myself to. admittedly, i could have always been this ill. i just never cared enough to rectify.

i dislike bed rest. its feeling weak that i dislike. but for now, plenty of rest sounds like a very welcoming idea suddenly.

in a good way, the year started off being really productive with the crazy preparation of the impending launch of an interesting new program at the work pad. there are gonna be plenty of even later nights and busier schedules. thanks to the love for my job, i might just get immune to the late hours and non-restful weekends.

it's a whole different environment working with fantastic and creative people who truly love what they do.

besides, minor things doesnt get me upset anymore and major things lead me to think twice before reacting on impulse rather than rationale. this is probably the most important life experience i've gained ever since graduating a year ago.

i guess most people just want to be better in general. fear of falling short of own's expectations makes one bound to be better. i think.

it's gonna be a very hyped over year with many world happenings going on incessantly. im going to nurse my health before the whole world overwhelms me. it might just be as well as i'll need all the good health i can achieve to enjoy the eventful year anyway.

to all good friends of mine, here's a pre-toast to good health, love, friendship and career!

good night dears! *scurries away to sleep*

im a walking virus

and i think i just infected gid.

oops.

(shouts)

i hope you're alright after the nap, gid!