emptying the skeleton in my closet

just returned from kj's place an hour ago. i felt the need to wrap some things up once and for all. y'kno... end all potential discussion.

i have been told that i'm still not moving on like i should. mainly because i still mention the ex's name and the activity we used to do and stuff. i was told that at this stage, i should have moved on far far ahead. and should i do it (mentioning past events) again, let me reassure my friends that i have moved on for good sometime back. the only reason why i'd even bring up past activities was because i felt comfortable enough to roll it off my tongue. after all, what's past is past right? i had spent a good part of my prime youth which involved plenty of shared experiences with someone i thought i'd eventually end up marrying.

many new activities were actually had together with him. and many MANY more i have yet to mention. or just plain awkward to go into details. either because 1. it'll bring back fond/bad/etc memories or 2. i didn't think the other party would really bother to know more about it.

here comes the tricky part. what happens when a relationship come to an end? 2 things can happen, either 1. they stay as friends or 2. they don't. the latter applies in this case. there were factors that refrained the friendship but it's useless to go into details now. it wasn't mutual but it just had to be done - and there's no stopping me.

i didn't exactly do a lot to move on, asides from the usual deep reflections and self console. guess it's just a natural progression after being let down so many times. it's unfair to pinpoint any blame anymore. nothing's ever fair and square anyway.

i'm only 23 - there's still room for trial(s) and error(s). =) sometimes i amaze myself.. my positivity is shining.

well, the only drawback is.. i'm quite comfortable at where i am that i can't even see myself in a committed union. and i've become something that i never thought i would be; a commitment phobe. it's about the biggest problem i'm having right now. haha!

one last thing before i hop into the sack for some shut eye to gear up for the night ahead.

the financial forecast for the impending year seems rather gloomy -sorry for the anti climax!- and that's according to forbes. wasn't exactly shocked by the prediction cos i was having similar thoughts. can't be helped. it's the economic cycle. it got me thinking about living on a shoestring budget for the year ahead. freaked me out a lil.

anyway, the year of the rats will be my year *beams*. more clubbing, parties and overseas trips awaits.

midnight hunger pangs

i'm starving again.

had fish porridge from maxwell market 4 hours ago.

had my dance training with eve earlier on. got a good grip (pun) on new moves. pole dancing's starting to grow on me. after a 2 hours long training, i dragged my sore ass and trudged down to CU to meet the boys & row. training ended rather late so i wasn't able to make it down for samuel's costume birthday party.

i'm having a stayover with the boys at kujen's crib right now. only bx, chris and me are still up and chirpers. i'm getting a bit of rhematism in my limbs. seems like i'm always down with IT whenever i'm over at kj's place. snuggling nicely under his covers right now. at least i'm kept warm and fuzzy.

cleared most of the clutter in my email piled up over a week. the krabi photos are all sorted out nice and sweet, just waiting for me to load them when i had enough of the festive cheer.

arranged for a NYE gathering at cat's ICON tomorrow. not many can make it though. will be counting down at MoS with terence and soaking in the trance act with Godskitchen.

i'm getting a bit monotonous here. think the brain's not functioning so well without food.

OH! today's also the last day of 2007. in retrospect, i think i had a rather good year. nothing spectacular but i've learnt a lot over the past year. suffered many heart breaks that would serve as a great lesson in future. had friends who stuck by me through thick and thin. gained a new set of family members. made merry countless of times. achieved and accomplished many goals. got stuck in a rut and got out of it quickly. rekindled many friendships and sparked off many new ones. didn't put on an ounce of fat despite rekindling my love for chocs, cakes and all sugary stuff (what better ways to battle post-breakup depression?).

new year resolutions are nothing but passe. but they do make for some great feel good about yourself mantra maybe for a day or 2 before they're soon forgotten and discarded. however, i do have a simple one that i think i can fulfill. after all, what's the point of making one that you can't keep? well, it's easy to remember and i'll keep it private for now. some things are better left unsaid.

to declare with glee that i indeed had a great 2007 after all, isn't really that difficult anymore. =)

really wanted to talk about the krabi trip today but i realized i have no time!

oh dear. i gotta go prepare soon.

M E R R Y
X ' M A S
Y'ALL!!

counting cows

bleah. goodmorning world. sleep's not on my mind now. not really intended. just got back an hour ago from another night of fun. top it off firstly, with disappointment at not being able to meet anya on her birthday - because she got wasted before i could get my ass there after work. and secondly, a fight broke out. ratio's 10plus : 3.

in comprehension of a freaky afterthought, one of my eye was twitching incessantly during work and when casually mentioned to a friend, she gestured to her eyes with her index finger and went 喜怒哀乐 in a counterclockwise motion starting from the upper left brow. she stopped dead at 怒 and said something to the effect that i'll run/get into some matters adept at generating anger in me. it got into a bit of a long story there but i'll cut the story short. in a gist, something bad did happened that provoked the fight. and someone indeed got angry.

i get a lot of twitching going on (in my eye) from time to time. usually it gets really accurate and forewarn me of many emotions that's coming my way. depending on the impact of the twitches, the situation heightens with it.

it totally have no basis and relies more on basic intuition - something which i believe very strongly in. i've always had a bit of a strong clairvoyance.

however, i think that this time could be just a coincidence.
a freaky coincidence.
beat that.

tonight's a very liquid(room) night. met alvin sung (whom i later partied with), jeffrey ng (bar), michael (bar supervisor), adam (bar supervisor), christina chong (AM/OM?), even steven cheng (OM) and eric lam (OM? i think). right..not that you guys know who i'm talking about. well, they're just guys from the past. a happy part of the past to be precise =).

stomach's still hurting after the sup-brek at HK cafe. gonna be waking at 1pm for brunch with the Tauruses clan - Shan & Joanne. will have to do with some sleep for now.

a GEELY in our midst

i was still very confident when i told terence i didn't think geelies are in singers.



was actually on my way home from ericia's place when i spotted 1 geely. went chillazing (chill & laze) at her place one night. i enjoyed it tremendously. enjoyed the talks that could have went on forever with no timestamp on the duration.

i am extremely tired and on the verge of suffering a burnt out. the summit gathering was disastrous IMO because the 2 of us michelles were really tired and thus, couldn't socialize with much gusto. anyhow, nothing went wrong despite the few turnout. thanks to pete and essy for the effort and coordination in making it happen!

x'mas is just around the coooorrrner!

ps: no time & energy to blog about krabi yet.

Disclaimer: Geely is literally translated word for word from 吉利; a china manufactured car. An oxymoron because I don't think the car's very "吉利" given that even my friend Kengsong tells me not to get that car if I "don't wanna die inside". Haha! Quoting him, "pls... i see the car i dun feel ji li.."

pps: it's an inside joke between classmates. i'm not even thinking of getting that car.

short update

finally received all the photos i needed to blog. time's not on my side though.

i'm happy beyond words to be hanging out with katt and qi the whole of yesterday. it's been too long since we last shopped/dined/goofed around/teased/cam whored TOGETHER. did many crazy things yesterday that brought back fond memories of the high school days. we also walked into juvy's shop at FEP to spring a surprise on her and it turned out she was surfing through my friendster page moments before we walked in. talk about coincidental.

and how cool is it exactly to find that my family law tutor during my poly days is on friendster. i met him at the subordinate court once but that's another story altogether.

alrighty. i'm gonna be needing a time out. dead pooped.

meeting my SIM clique tmr for a day at the beach to post celebrate viv's birthday. and i've arranged to meet sheena for dinner before rushing off to work at 11pm. a pity manda couldn't make it for our date.

and before saying my good nights to the world,

HAPPY BOOBY DAY GILLIAN!

sweet of baoming (the bf) to spend the whole day with her later just because.. i'm happy for my gf!

viv the drama-esque diva

HAPPY BIRTHDAY VIV!

coreen and tl surprised her at school with a gobi cake and some sparklers. and they conveniently left me out of the fun! that's cool though cos i know viv is still beaming from the surprise! =)

country rocks

i'm loving this MV.
titled Teardrops On My Guitar - Taylor Swift

PING pang pong

i was dreaming of krabi's "water-and-flour" (inside joke) beaches when i got awoken by a call yesterday morning. it was terence. he touched down on sunday night. had a nice long chat with him about gold coast and white beaches.

i took a long time to organize the contact list in my gmail, merging, editing and clearing the older contacts and adding new ones. afternoon saw me headed to the gym with viv at her old condo. had a draining workout because the said thighs were hurting like hell.

caught up with ping over din at cause way point earlier. the girl and i still share certain trademark in our perception! like how we're always so logical/illogical in the way we think, depending on how you see it. things have hardly changed. and the last we recounted, we've known each other since junior school and that's 13 years.

i'm still patiently waiting for the krabi files to be transferred over via MSN through viv. it is transferring v-e-r-y s-l-o-w-l-y. i think viv's com might just kaput on her anytime.

miscellaneous pictures ahead.

was lazing and napping on viv's old sofa after the workout. i was dead beat. hardly had enough sleep the night before. viv was bathing and getting ready for our early din before she rushes off to school for her 7pm rehearsal for a play coming up in january.



overlooking some landscape and cck station control from her hall.



sprightly viv and tired ol' me



i thought this was good to know because my friends and i are always waiting up for each other at the train station. it should come in handy.



my sweet sweet ping and i! she's got this naturally rosy cheeks that i love to gawk at.



look at how listless my eyes are. it's been an exhausting day.. a few more photos to go before i turn in!



i love her pullover sweats! it read loubourough university.



the day that i went to train for my dance.



was waiting for my trainer to show up. turned out she was there all the while and she made a remark on how lil chemistry we share because she was just sitting a few tables down the entire time! we wasted like 30 mins just waiting for each other to show up. dumb but funny things like this happen sometimes. 1.5 hours later and i really like her already!

was carrying plenty of barangs because of a mixed up of assignment that i thought i was supposed to receive that day. ended up bringing the whole thingamajig consisting of cosmetics/boots/etc.



supposedly, bx and row wanted to sing after my training. but it was called off because bx wanted to rush home to watch his soccer match!! i was all hyped up to meet them but i guess the singing has got to wait after all. and rox just started her job at m.a.c. shall drop by later [technically] to surprise her!

the very late girls' chat at viv's old condo.



poor coreen is super jet lagged. me still feeling chirpers after the nice long chat.

ps: i've been feeling a bit down these past few days but i think after sorting out some thoughts, the mood's indeed improved a notch.

tonnes of love for all!

it's been a good day

managed to rid some stuff off my chest; it's been bothering me. even though it's probably something very minute but it's good enough. =)

the rest of whatever that is still bothering me will fall into place when it's the right time to do so.

had a rather rare opportunity to learn pole/exotic dancing from eve - who's also of peranakan blood. she's got beautiful eyes, very petite girl, and around clara's size. it was really fun! i was certified good enough to perform so, like after 1.5 hours of training. i couldn't keep up with her because she is super hyper and energetic and she's only been learning for 8 months, give or take. i think that interest and passion accounts for a lot of things in life. dancing is definitely in her blood.

my thighs are aching like nobody's business!! and it spreads all the way to the front of my foot from all that stretching and prancing. pole dancing is no mean feat and that's according to rowena who had some dancing background as well. it is true. i honestly believe it now. after having tried it for real.

just got sent home by coreen (poor girl just got back from HK and suffered from jet lag) from an impromptu late night girls' chat at viv's old condo with viv, and (of course) coreen. poor coreen had a fine ticket. but the girl dealt her upset with great upbeat-ness! haha. the ever ready optimist. real cute.

awaiting for pictures from vivien and zoe before i start recounting the days of fun ol' fun...

sun-less sunday

i miss singing with the darlings (rox & row) bx and all. can't wait to do it all over again. but work takes center-stage over fun for now. took up an ad-hoc assignment for extra bucks later. cat's been nagging at me to get a proper job but there are soo much things on hand to settle right now that i can't seem to focus on tidying up the resume.

i have a lot to talk about and i need to get it off my chest. perhaps that'd make me feel better. i never had qualms about airing my views but i just feel like there's not much point in doing so right now.

i am in dire need of re-shifting my focus to a higher level, a different platform, something totally unrelated to whatever i'm feeling right now. i've been on auto gear for the longest time, taking a backseat and blending in with the flow of things from time to time, over and over again.

there is no need to be the follower; it's not really me anyway. it's reinvention time; do away with the old, welcome the new - like they always say.

in other news, i think that terence's returning home tonight. =)

creative inventions

hello y'all!

back in rainy singapore late last night. krabi's been amazing. i miss the clear turquoise water and the flour-like sand already. like, who wouldn't? it was rather a short-lived experience though. and we ran into many financial crises. it was a fortunate thing we managed to scrape through the 5 days with very lil resources. taught me a dear lesson of never leaving for a travel trip with insufficient money!

anyway, i came across an interesting read when i was checking my mails.

EGG HOLDER

Realy cute egg holder. Just don't forget yourself and take one of these spoons.

CUP & COOKIES

Smart cup in which you can put 2-3 of your favourite cookies. You don't need extra plates. It's made for right handed and left handed.

ANIMAL CORN HOLDER

Like corn? But it's eatable only when it's hot. Get a little help holding on to your corn with these cute Animal Corn Holders. Choose from Pig, Dog, and Cow.


BANANA GUARD - Protect Your Banana!

Are you fed up with bringing bananas to work or school only to find them bruised and squashed? Banana Guard allows you to safely transport and storage individual bananas letting you enjoy perfect bananas anytime, anywhere.



LOCK-CUP

Lock Cup - Anti-Theft Coffee Cup. Are you tired of others stealing your coffee cup? Well now there’s a solution. The Lock - Cup has a hole which prevents most people from using it. Only the owner of the cup can use his/hers shaped key to close the hole.


PENGUIN TEA TIMER

Making tea, though easy to do, is also time consuming. Once you pour the hot water into the cup, you must patiently hover over it, waiting for the tea to steep. Well, the Penguin Tea Timer happily does the waiting for you.
Place your tea cup under the beak and set it to the desired time. As you turn the timer dial, the beak lowers the tea into the hot water. When time is up, a bell sounds and the penguin automatically lifts his beak, removing the tea bag from the water.

TRANSPARENT TOASTER

You love toast, but you always burn it? Than, this invention us for you.
This transparent toaster allows you to see the bread while it is toasting so you just have to take it out when the colour is right. This idea is based on a transparent heating glass technology.


BUTTER CUTTER

One Click Butter Cutter controls your portion as an important part of staying healthy. This ingenious butter cutter delivers one standard pat with each click of the handle.

GIANT REMOTE

Never lose your remote again!
With giant buttons, this extra-large remote is easy to use and impossible to lose. It’s a 6-in-1 remote so you can use it to control your TV, VCR, DVD player, satellite, cable and auxiliary A/V device. It even features glow-in-the-dark buttons, so you can easily find the remote in the dark.

DAYCLOCK

What day is today? You don't know? Then you need a DayClock. It’s uniquely designed to keep track of weekly events like your golf day, card night, movie night, and so much more. It’s ideal for vacations and cruises when it’s easy to lose track of the day.

CRIME SCENE TOWEL

Chalk outline crime scene beach towel - be the coolest person on the beach!

LASER SCISSORS

Laser ScissorsCutting a straight line has never been easier. Just aim the pin-point laser and follow the line. The scissor blades are stainless steel and cut very clean with a micro serrated edge.


TOILET SEAT LIFTER

‘Who left the Toilet Seat up?’ The PeaceMaker will end the battle of the toilet seat. Merely step on the pedal to activate the lifting mechanism. When finished, remove your foot from the pedal and the seat gently comes to a rest where it started.


ILUMINATING CAR SLIPPERS

Do you get up at night to drink water, go to the toilet...Do you wish you could see in the dark? Remarkably bright LED lights are triggered by your footsteps and light up the floor 30 feet in front of you; ultra-soft plush style are extra comfortable and cozy warm.

"THE THING" - INFANT PILLOW

The Zaky is an ergonomic infant pillow designed by a mom to mimic the size, weight, touch, and feel of her hand and forearm to help her baby with comfort, support, protection, and development. The Zaky can help calm your baby and help your baby sleep better through the night.

TRAVELER'S PHRASE BOOK T-SHIRT

If you are traveling a lot and don’t always know the language of the country you are visiting, then this T-shirt is for you. It has a phrase book printed on it so just point a finger at the pictogram you need and then point it twice at the question mark, which means, “Where is it?” and in no time you have found what you were looking for… or not.

i don't really get how this works. sensor?

MODERN LADDER

Realy cool modern ladder.

LATEST DESIGN WAITER/WAITRESS TRAYS

Anatomic tray, for waiters. No more dropping trays. We just don't know is it comfortable.


comfortable or not. this definitely makes for a great waitressing tool!! no more spilled martinis. =)

WHEEL-MOVING BENCH

Whether you want to sit on the sun or in the shade, near the river or under the tree... now you have your movable bench, to sit wherever you like.


Click here for original source.

zouk out '07; the gist

i've been trying to upload clips of the zoukout for this post but it's been a horribly frustrating effort so i'm just gonna talk about it till i get the rest of the pictures when zoe sends me the photos.

i met soo many people that day. colin, ben, YATING whom i met on my way in (she was on her way OUT), STANLEY NAM aka smiling tiger, leftfoot's kenneth & bryan with their new squeeze, and god knows who else...

colin was damn funny when he saw me. he made 2 peace signs in front of me to get my attention when i was semi dancing to get into the mood. i couldn't make out his face because his back was to the lights but i knew it must be someone i know otherwise that would be quite an idiotic move, right? but no, he's not idiotic, he's just really funny! haha. and he was real excited about graduating and getting his faculty pass for SM. i was overjoyed for him.

charm was supposed to be with us but she got turned away because she didn't bring her ic. poor girl. i didn't get to meet up with her after that. saw her approximately for all of 2-3 mins. a french guy was also turned away because he didn't have his passport with him, michelle chng casually told me afterwards. so sad to be turned away because of a lack of documentation proof right? felt so bad for charm.

poor zoe was abandoned by daphne and her friends but the lucky girl have got other groups she could join, like yours truly. i actually went with an assortment of people and got introduced to some. met daniel who was head of events some donkey semesters ago before he passed it on to daphne and vivian. michelle wong from M&P was also there but she retired home pretty early. she was pretty zonked out.

formed a pretty neat party crew consisting of: sharon (my colleague), michelle chng, zoe, daniel, allan and damn i can't remember the last guy's name. my memory fails me sometimes! i'm sorry!

basically, that was the outfit.

had a bit of initial problem getting sharon because she got into her friends' vehicle when she was supposedly tailing behind me (i was looking for zoe's cab along the main road of st james). it was hard coordinating with michelle and zoe because they both don't know each other and i was quite frantic that michelle wouldn't be able to catch up with the cab but as luck would have it, she was by the road when i spotted her! some coincidental shit. it was necessary to cab in because the roads were blockaded from walking in. darn smartasses.

we were well settled after an hour or so of queuing, mad running from 1 end of the entrance to another to find sharon, and generally soaking in the cheer of the festival.

nearly got acquainted with this girl, fiona. pretty girl but mabok. was a bundle of fun, wanted us to call her princess fiona. she also really wanted to hook us up with her male troops. she went on and on asking if i was single, if any of my guy friends are my bf. working through the girls like a pro pimpin' whore. she was definitely fun but we couldn't have found out more as we soon left in search of a better spot!

because there were 3 michelles that day, naturally people would want us to react to michelle 1, michelle 2, michelle 3 and so on. to add a lil irony, i'm also known as michelle wan and people would be very very amused to be informed of that lil fun tidbit. they usually go NOO you're kidding?!?!

met ice man kenneth at the same spot that fiona found us. i managed a new girlfriend ah comment and he gave me a cheeky smile.

spotted bryan with his pretty muse whom zoe thought was hot.

saw pauline but didn't think she saw me.

time for some pictures!

with michelle chng waiting for charm & sharon to get their wrist tags.


daybreak!


AVB on the last set.


still very hyper.


zoe & 2 michelles




plastic destruction


sunrays pelting down? nah! it's the lights from the stage.


moving images are soo unflattering.


zoe's a small bundle of fun.


look at what becomes of the beach. think of how much cleaning up is required.


me: "turn around everyone!"


the advertised water slide which looks much more magnificent than it really is. dan wants to be in the picture! haha. cute.


a moving image!! dan took the camera away before i could stabilize it because he wanted to take my picture from a better angle. sweet guy.


i took many of these home. they're lying on my table now.




the pack.


mich babe was pretty darn zonked out. a walking zombie whom manages to accomplish our goal of staying throughout! i had to put on an ugly sad face to match her zonked but still very pretty face.


alvin sung is drunk drunk drunk! or just super darn tired.


loving the stage set up of the hip hop arena which we stayed for a good 1-2 hours.


the red lady who was swaying away to the live band arena's music performance. except that the bands aren't performing anymore.


bumping into my smiling tiger stanley was another hilarious incident. i was soo happy to see him and we hugged for the longest time. he had a few rounds of champ and was pretty intoxicated. i was perspiring from the heat and he saw sweat beads all over my forehead and swiped it all away with the back of his hands. i thought it was so very him! hahaha. at one point, he carried me and held me up for a very long time and we danced like that. i allowed him to. we were ex-colleagues and used to be on very good terms. afterwards the girlfriends were like.. did he really kiss you on the lips? i was like.. he didn't, it was on the cheeks and told them of his orientation. promised to meet up for singing and coffee more often! i miss hearing his injection of r&b style in his singing.

still couldn't get the clips up on imeem but i figured 1 should suffice for now ;)



see y'all when i'm back yo!