Poem • Stay At Home Mum

The house is a mess

My clothes are old

The chores are endless

As the day unfolds

Guilt is a feeling 

I’ve grown to know

It follows me daily

Like a dismal shadow

Aches and pains

and all the strains 

Bending and lifting 

and playing games

Stay at home mum

Won’t that be fun

Finger painting and Netflix 

and one on one

“No more work for you”, they’d say

“Free to relax and play all day”

Naive is a word

Not a strong enough fit

To describe this exhaustion

That fills every bit

My back is sore 

My hands are dry

My lunch will be crusts 

My outlet, a cry

I’m working on forgiveness 

I’m working on myself

I’m trying to locate her

high up on a shelf

I’m in the best company

But still I feel lonely

These windows grew bars

For somewhere so homely

I’m juggling many balls

But that’s not the worst

Ones about to drop

Which one will fall first

I hate asking for help

Don’t you see, I can do this

But I need it some days

When it all feels so useless

Rewards and woes

The highs and the lows

Unconditional love

and that’s how it goes

Feelings drifting

So hard to pin down

Some days you win

Others you drown

Yes I am lucky

I love them to bits

and I’d do it again

Every day for these kids

They’ve helped me slow down

They’ve taught me to say ‘No’

They’re teaching me daily

about how I can grow.

I’m better because of them

I’ll continue to be

A love like no other 

As they are for me

We’re stay at home Mums

We’re bloody strong 

So we keep on

Keeping on.

……………..

Words @jessurlichs ‘From One Mom to a Mother’ poetry book: www.jessicaurlichs.com/shoph - this was written some time ago in the trenches of 2u2 and doesn’t just apply to stay at home mums.

Stills from an old show I remember watching as a youngling:
母亲是*孩子*成长的园丁，
生活中的朋友，患难中的安慰

Life as any parent is hard. Aspiring to be a decent one is super hard. Striving to be a good mum is almost freaking impossible. 

Need to fill my love tank so I can show up for my family... But how? 

What went down on my 39th

Nothing much! A good nothing much. Stay home mums are busy on weekdays and having a birthday in the middle of the week is just an ordinary day, albeit an extra-ordinary one, I'm privileged to have the option to do what I want - stay at home.

I've been planning to have a homely, nondescript day, cooking and spending time resting for the weekend ahead - all weekends are family time!

Sweet and thoughtful Claris sent me a pretty bento cake that I'm going to share with the kids.

Nick & the kids presented me with a bday card + full of their cute lil drawings on it ❤️ Read the contents when I was alone and teared; Nick may be a quiet man but his words are touching.

Wholesome breakfast that I had fun making! My birthday meal looking real good and tasty as anything.

Look at this Hamburg 🤤

Fancy surprise from Sheena - fairy lights, flower, balloon and even delicate feathers in one bundle. 

I feel like a child receiving a gift!

I love it 💕

Appreciating my kids more than ever. Here they are taking turns to play before school this morning.

I don't need gifts and chose not to post on social media to avoid receiving any, I'm happiest just receiving messages of love and blessings. At 39 years young, I choose privacy and space for rest. The stay home life has not dulled me, but revealed opportunity for growth and renewal. In the daily humdrum of motherhood, I rather enjoy this peace and quiet.