Memorial necklace & Bird's nest ❤️

This means a lot to me :') Thank you my loves.

Very special memorial pendant engraved with my sister's and my initials M.W. both ways :') I love it

Shortly after the girls left, I ordered my dinner online and within minutes there was a very hurried and urgent knock on my door. I knew it couldn't be dinner because it was too fast. When I took it from the deliveryman, it was hot and heavy for a small parcel. I knew it was food.

Thank you hpy for the thoughtful gesture, my mum who happened to see it was equally touched. I know you meant to pamper me, and I loved it. Thought of my sis too because this is her absolute favourite.

You guys are my bestest friends from secondary school and have seen me at my worst. There is nothing more I need to say to express my thanks and love, because I've said it all :)

You, and many of my good good friends have been standing by my side all these while, silently supporting and cheering me. 

Losing someone is always hard. But you guys made it much better to bear with your big big hearts and generosity towards me :') 

I've since lost my lustre and shine because a part of me feels lost and lonely despite having the warmth and love of family and friends. It's so hard to admit but I know it to be true. I took it out on Nick a lot because I no longer care about his feelings (because I'm hurting a lot). It's not that I don't love him. On the contrary, I love him and want him to be there for me. I have lesser forbearance towards Nick and when he pisses me off unnecessarily, I rage. I treat him like a kid and just have a go at him. I don't put up with him like I used to because I no longer have capacity. My tank feels drained and void.

Therapy was necessary for us because he wasn't able to support me in my grief; he was insensitive and hurtful. We have to protect our marriage from all these rush of raw and exposed emotions that were new to us, and I must say he's doing very well in being a good listener and understands my grief in a way that makes me feel understood and safe when I talk about it (and I do it a lot).

Nick is an awesome husband and father but we have our disagreements that are just difficult to resolve because we're equally stubborn. A character trait so ingrained we find hard to change.

If we were to rely on our own strengths to keep our marriage intact, we'd have failed. God has always been keeping and protecting our marriage. I turn to Him in good and bad times. But I honestly found it much harder to turn to Him in the latter. Sorrow just doesn't want companion.

I just can't.

As I drone on and on, Christmas is already upon us. How bittersweet, the first of many difficult holidays to celebrate without my little sister around.

Letter to Mabel: Vinz is back

Terrible indigestion after a fun evening with my sis- and brother-in-law rendered me sleepless.

While surfing social media, I saw Mabel's best friends going on (separate) holidays and felt a pang of sadness. She will never get to go on another holiday again. I miss her look of excitement whenever she goes on holidays. I miss her so much it hurts so bad. My dad once said Mabel has gone on a long holiday this time. Maybe that's his coping mechanism. I call it for what it is - she's gone, dead, died, passed away. 

Christmas is creeping closer but I'm not really looking forward to it at all. Call me a downer but I'm just not feeling it. How can I ever be happy when I've lost my sister? - is what I feel like cry-saying it out loud. I'm wretched through and through. Even my amazing mum is excited that Christmas is around the corner. Maybe she's onto something that I don't, maybe she's way ahead of me in the game. Maybe because it's her birthday on boxing day. My mum is just awesome.

::

Mei, I've reconciled with Vinz. Do you know he's in a bad place too? Yet he bravely came forward and allowed healing to take place. Sometimes I wish you were healed while on earth. I miss you so much.

Vinz was real sweet - he got himself tattooed as a remembrance on the day you were laid to rest at Mandai, a picture of Little Prince who has significant meaning to him.

For this little prince lives in a planet on his own but has friends from other planets. Even though you've left us, he believe you're on a 'planet' (that I call it Heaven), and will make many wonderful friends who loves you. I know you'll be touched by his gesture when you look down from heaven to see how we're doing.

I strongly believe you're truly happy up there, even though I've no proof. I just know it mei. I'm comforted knowing you are happy. You're finally in good hands :) Jie loves you so so much, always will and forevermore.

Till we meet again k 💋

A timely text from dear old HPY

Today, you texted me out of the blue and came clean with why you left our friendship in the beginning. It was the second time you left and I thought I had lost you for good.

This time, I really wanna be there for you, if you let me. I know you need time, and I know better than to push you.

Patience is my virtue since becoming a mum. I'll wait patiently to hug it out, to fill you in on all the happenings and provide you your support structure, if you let me.

I was missing Mabel badly when you texted. Perfect timing, I thought.

I miss you so much, I just want you back.

XX love,
Hpy Mitch

Oldies are besties

I grew up having a lot of friends. At any one point, I could count at least 5 people I can reach at any time and I knew in my heart of hearts that a distressed phone call is all it takes to connect.

As I grew older, I value the friendships even more. Friendships I've forged since young. I've also grown into this person I've come to love because of who they've become in my life - a fan, a supporter, a shoulder to cry on, tough love, motherly love and most importantly, just being my best friend. They've never judged me for what I've done and still love me for who I am.

Simply put, I wouldn't be this confident and secure without their love and friendship. Thank God for these great people in my life.