july is approaching

as the years passes, the months whizzes by even more quickly.

4 weeks of 7 days each has become a whirlwind state of work and sometimes after work appointments that left me drained. lethargy crept in like it did.

no wonder people my age says they feel old already. "what nonsense?", i used to say. not that i dont see the point now.

im in dire need of exercising to fight lethargy. its getting on my nerves. tiredness is something i loathe.

indescribably tired

i just feel like sleeping in and waking up when the sun's high and up (hopefully not raining or i'll turn sleep induced and wake up more lethargic; the idea is to wake up fresh right?). at least, without tuning the alarm and hitting the snooze in the morning. god knows how many snoozes i punched per morning.

my sleep has been a pleasure deprived.

and im hoping to find it back tonight.

another batch of government monies

last tracked, 200 dollars is coming our way this july 1st.
to battle the GST increases with.

how very nice =)

rhyming thoughts...or maybe not

sometimes you wonder if you really know what it all means
whether you will one day find your dreams
of things done and said, all that belonged in the past
that made you think of doubtful shadows cast
what will i get this year?
another dose of hopefulness i hear
dont just send me someone who will yield
i dont need another of those ills
rid of the bullsh*t
none will even eat
all through these hardship i call months
are you even aware or maybe you aren't
but im happier now than i have been in months
a blessing guised the broken road
that led me to what i wrote

an evening last week

manda happened to drop by my work vicinity and gently pleaded for a minute to meet me up. oh how can i refused the darling?!

a good thing it also happened that i was to be given an hour earlier (which is rare) to knock off.



it was a short meet due to her work commitments (she had to rush back to office to finalize some matters). its always good to see her albeit for a while. and she's always so cuddly to hold in photos.

turned out that day was a super productive day where i met up with ericia and viv for lunch and some girls' banter at vivo and later on, coreen and tl for din again at vivo. viv, who took leave for the day, was present in all the meet ups (including manda's brief gather).

before manda left, she passed me a present and said it was for my birthday. she got me a set of eye make up in a variety of tubes and pots that comes in a brilliant gold make up case. the sweetest thing was the contained meaning behind it. written on black wrapping paper were the touching words: to the most beautiful lady with the most beautiful eyes...

that put the widest smile on my face =) before we parted, i promised the next time we meet, id be putting on some of the colours just for her.

i later found out it was all pure mineral infused and the summer colour collection was named Malibu Beauty. cute marketing methinks.

an uphill struggle for happiness (nobody ever said it was easy)

did a thorough software clean up of the computer and its working as good as new. no more slow loading woes.

im having major migraine tonight but felt better after i shampooed.

accidentally seeing certain things still affect my mood but im constantly improving on handling it. its a matter of time before it wont affect me anymore, im sure. i named my blog for a reason. it is there to remind me that people and things changes (or metamorphoses) for better or worse and coping with the change is a skill. an art. no matter how much i hate to admit it, im always a lil bit stronger than i thought. i never liked 'fessing up because it makes one obliged to be it (ie strong) as others see it.

mom's close friend passed away a week ago and it just magnified the realization of how fragile human beings really are. after battling with an illness, the doc gave her 2 weeks tops. may god bless her soul, she succumbed less than the given. i cannot even begin to imagine how it must have been for mom and others close to her. but mom was really strong.

it got me thinking that should i be the one to leave this world without so much as a word one day, i definitely dont want no tears. i like being happy and have deemed myself as the greatest, pinkest happy pill should my friends feel blue. or at least i always try.

may i also just add that friends and family are god's greatest gift to me =) there is a constant need to remind self that one ought not to take people for granted.

enough said for one solemn topic.

in other news, i just checked my horoscope and OMG this is fieerce!

that reminds me of ethan's immortal words: that person whom you think is weird might think you are weird too.

it goes both ways i guess!

just when i need a drink

i realized there is only boiling water.

and no ice cubes.

im so thirsty that im contemplating eating a piece of fruit!

just a comical thought

my first admission to the company created 2 Mitches when i had just came on board and through a conversation today, someone made me realized there are now 2 Miss Wans. but of course, no one calls me mitch at work. im known by my regular name.

the 21st day

i was infected with everything from nauseousness to bloatedness to initial outbreaks (the cyst kind) to hunger pangs and then feeling faint due to hunger because i got so nauseous i couldnt hold anything down? i also got migraines and just about everything else. emotions were running a lil amok and i actually teared twice on one occasion, in the 21 days, about separate issues with one issue following the other right after. the tears were dry before i knew it because i got my symptoms checked and contained in time.

guess what? nobody could tell if i hadnt said a thing, right? anyways, it's only temporary and things will get fabulous once the body has gotten used to it. im glad i was thoroughly prepared for all the things that took place. when you recognize the symptoms, you could jolly well managed it better. i know i did.

lets wait and see what happens over the next 7 days.

and then i'll work my way through a few more boxes. =)

like old times

i prolly wouldnt be able to scrunch up my hair or support any object heavier than 0.5kg with my leftie for a few days. i hate to share this but i had a nasty burn while cooking at bx's crib together with rowena and don. a searing pain that had me in tears (but i skillfully dodged the guys from seeing it). excruciating and unnecessary. it will take a few days to heal. oh well. but i thought the cooking was a bunch of joy albeit it wore us down and out completely.

laid the goods on the belt for payment. i had a go at the front of the trolley wheelie with bx pushing it along down the aisle. it was good kiddo fun.

L-R: row, bx in the top i got for him from krabi, don


trudging back to his crib.



saucy potato and luncheon.



black peppered chicken thigh (my love) and breast.



some chinese veg call dou miao. stirred fried with garlic.



mushroom pot.



and before you know it, we forgot about cooking the staple: rice. and bx zipped over to his neighbourhood to get us some. a box like this for $2.



all of them were great help around the kitchen and methinks this kind of activities should be done more often!

anyways, i hauled home a new $300 750GB My Book by Western Digital 2 weeks ago and transferred a zillion other files but its been lagging my computer severely and getting seriously frustrating. also, the computer wont "wake up" when powered on while the external HDD is connected. very agonizing in fact, to be waiting for applications to load. everything loads like ten times slower. im getting very testy just harping on it.

nice that it comes with firewire too! the better to connect with firewire speed.



the signature black hardcover design.



its really heavy too. like 2kg or so.

im crashing soon.
gotta wake early.

but before that, i really would like to thank my lucky stars (and ericia) for telling me to wait out before i do something i might regret again.

very very glad indeed.

i never thought

i could do what i did. but i did. its like, how did i even do it?

now bring on the impossible. for,

impossible is nothing.
(i cannot get this quote out of my mind ever since i first saw it splashed across the huge pillar of adidas store. it totally blew me off)

challenges. they love me.

time to accept reality?

reality accepted.

realistically speaking, if there's one thing ive learnt from my past, it is that there's no true love. only fleeting, momentarily love when you thought you loved.

both are love that exist in different forms to different people. some lucky, some not quite.

a very solemn thought.
what to do?
i exist in reality.

i just read an idiot's blog

i also just had a heart attack.

a new awakening

i always think better at night. 

maybe its the night air that mystically rouse the senses or just the serenity that follows when everything have quieten down a notch. in which crept the unruffled thoughts. 

i laughed at myself sometimes. how silly some of my thoughts can be. arent we all entitled to some degree of silliness when we're alone? 

im tired. its not something im eager to shout about. a kind of jadedness really. like a jaded appetite from an overindulgence. 

quieter times have passed me by. fell short of my grasp, it did. 

nonetheless, im a lil warrior. and something in me never dies.