emptying the skeleton in my closet

just returned from kj's place an hour ago. i felt the need to wrap some things up once and for all. y'kno... end all potential discussion.

i have been told that i'm still not moving on like i should. mainly because i still mention the ex's name and the activity we used to do and stuff. i was told that at this stage, i should have moved on far far ahead. and should i do it (mentioning past events) again, let me reassure my friends that i have moved on for good sometime back. the only reason why i'd even bring up past activities was because i felt comfortable enough to roll it off my tongue. after all, what's past is past right? i had spent a good part of my prime youth which involved plenty of shared experiences with someone i thought i'd eventually end up marrying.

many new activities were actually had together with him. and many MANY more i have yet to mention. or just plain awkward to go into details. either because 1. it'll bring back fond/bad/etc memories or 2. i didn't think the other party would really bother to know more about it.

here comes the tricky part. what happens when a relationship come to an end? 2 things can happen, either 1. they stay as friends or 2. they don't. the latter applies in this case. there were factors that refrained the friendship but it's useless to go into details now. it wasn't mutual but it just had to be done - and there's no stopping me.

i didn't exactly do a lot to move on, asides from the usual deep reflections and self console. guess it's just a natural progression after being let down so many times. it's unfair to pinpoint any blame anymore. nothing's ever fair and square anyway.

i'm only 23 - there's still room for trial(s) and error(s). =) sometimes i amaze myself.. my positivity is shining.

well, the only drawback is.. i'm quite comfortable at where i am that i can't even see myself in a committed union. and i've become something that i never thought i would be; a commitment phobe. it's about the biggest problem i'm having right now. haha!

one last thing before i hop into the sack for some shut eye to gear up for the night ahead.

the financial forecast for the impending year seems rather gloomy -sorry for the anti climax!- and that's according to forbes. wasn't exactly shocked by the prediction cos i was having similar thoughts. can't be helped. it's the economic cycle. it got me thinking about living on a shoestring budget for the year ahead. freaked me out a lil.

anyway, the year of the rats will be my year *beams*. more clubbing, parties and overseas trips awaits.