even if the day is almost over..

i can so identify with this



everything sounds precariously close to the truth.

while i was laying in bed during the wee hours of the morning [technically it was 1ish AM], i had a thought - a sudden one. the thought soon became an answer. i knew it had to be. it makes so much sense...why i had been kept waiting for so long. i did not dismiss the thought; it wasnt a painful one. this thought was a strong realization of who he is or has become. such naive misguided feelings contained within the abyss of my soul all throughout this long wait and who do i blame but myself.

over some time, seeking out novelty was your convenient way of justifying past events. i wont and cant stop you. its your prerogative. its not wrong, but its not right either.

"no one knows the real me now or what im capable of doing", those were words uttered in contempt.

i tried to understand where it was coming from. i grappled with it for a long time. maybe i missed out something during our talks? but i surrendered in defeat. it was beyond me. meaning to help out of concern but deemed more of a burden, i had left behind irreparable mess and destruction. thus i resolve not to get involved anymore. it will hold true to the end, a verbal agreement i made under duress and in tears.

i still wish you the best, thats all i can muster after coming to terms with it this time round.

im glad a few of the answers were found even if some were conjured to fill the gaping hole.

i can say this using a hundred different ways but it all means the same thing - love is a double edged sword. it cannot be farther from the truth. it serve as a reminder of my irrecoverable youth rather than intended for anyone of you.

unfortunately, im letting all these gnaw away at me tonight because im not strong enough to repel it. because i can feel the PMS trudging along looking for a friend to infect.

i finally understood why my eye has been twitching for the duration of this whole week. the wiser sis quipped i havent been getting enough sleep.

aye! aye!

no wonder i felt so testy the entire day! and churn out such emotional entry as a result.

dear readers, i cannot and should not be taken seriously tonight.

well, more work related event happening tomorrow. i dont wanna be stuck here all night long. gonna let my body run under a nice hot-warm water to de-tense the mind and body.

enjoy all but a great weekend ahead!