what consumes me?

perhaps my sentimentality, which i almost never really wanted to admit but did anyway.

perhaps my loyalty to all things that never kaput on me, is stabilized, reliable and steadfast all the way.

perhaps my excessive indulgence to fine food and fashion.

perhaps my sheer disappointment towards the unrepentant.

perhaps my innate encouragement for the wrongfully deserving.

perhaps my devoted love for friends, family and boyfriend (hypothetically).

perhaps my zealous love for life, living each day as if its the last.

perhaps my sanity that grows tumultuously in an inordinately mad world.

perhaps my careless optimism in view of negativity as is with growing societal concerns.

perhaps my arrogance in fighting for a worthy cause.

perhaps my persistence in pursuit of happyness [pun totally intended].

perhaps not of my sentimentality, loyalty, excessive indulgence, disappointment, encouragement, devotion, zealousness, insanity, optimism, arrogance nor persistence that consumes me.

perhaps, not what it is, but what i believe is eating away at me slowly, tortuously yet giving me the extra edge to renew my strength for the next battle.

perhaps is maybe, and maybe doesnt count.