Transition

For a long time now, I've been burnt out beyond repair. Parenting two kids without any help is the most insanely challenging gig I've ever done (should put that in my résumé). Seriously, where is my village? FYI, I don't have one.

I don't have breaks. I'm on call 24/7, Mon-Sun. For five years. I'm tired and snappy and mum raging at both kids. It's not fair (to me). I may never want additional kids again (barring accidents). I did console myself with this phrase: It's just a phase.

This phase has been going on for too long. My body and mind are in ruins. Although I prayed constantly for patience and strength but it never came. Later on I realised why. Running on poor quality sleep with default state being exhaustion, honestly have caused me to be super sluggish. I simply don't have the bandwidth to have patience nor strength. I was maxed out.

A month ago I was listening to a sermon in the car with Nick. It was about marriage. Something clicked in me and I knew immediately what I needed to do: Change my prayer request. I started praying for rest fervently. Specifically, time to rest.

Fast forward 1 to 2 weeks, Nick received an email from the Childcare Centre below, across the pavillion from our place, asking if we'd like to enroll Elijah in their school. We registered our interest one year ago (and forgot about it may I add) and they finally have a spot for us! The rest is history, really. 

I'm so happy to announce our dear Elijah has settled in very well (it's his first week but I'll take it haha). I'm happy to be away from him during the day to replenish my cup before receiving and nurturing him again as the day ends. It's the biggest transition for both of us and a welcomed one. Respite, reprieve, reset. I'm smiling as I type this. 

It's only been a week but I already felt the difference in his energy and overall demeanour when I have him back in the evening. All that excess energy I wasn't able to handle by myself before, channelled into social, connection, movement, and more, in a new environment that he likes (I asked). He is such an active boy that this mama here cannot keep up. I literally died trying. 🥲

I just want to put it out there that without God's grace, I really wouldn't be able to plough through those super hard and dark times (lots of doubts). He really pushed me to my limit though, right till my last straw. God has a weird sense of humour, doesn't he?

Pictures!

More energy to love him back now!

And more time for activities with Bethany too.
This is a major plus!

I even have time to attend a course on detoxing

Too many things I want to accomplish but taking it slow for now. So grateful to be able to reclaim my time and energy for other things! 😪