Flower girl x Page boy with ADHD

Note: This is a backdated post, writing from the future as I had wanted to chronicle this but December 2023 was unkind and I didn't have much energy or health to post this. I fell sick for a month straight and recently came out of the woods on 1 January 2024. 

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Bethany and Elijah were 6 and 4 year old when they pulled off two back to back stints of wedding duties within a month of each other. First at my baby cousin's and the latest at Nick's maternal relatives.

The first wedding was before I found out Elijah has ADHD and he was overwhelmed and overstimulated. The second was after I found out he has ADHD and I could put in all the strategic work to help him ease into it. 

The difference between the two weddings were our level of exhaustion versus the impact on him post wedding. When we were aware of what we were dealing with, it was so much easier to manage and he was calmer and less antsy immediately after the event.

We love our son and his ADHD, it was very apparent to me he wasn't like the others. He was always faster, stronger, more intense and jam packed with higher energy than any one I know. At the same time, he has an even temperament, hardly any meltdowns, slow to anger and quick to recover. I read up on books by Marko Juant and found out he is Hyposensitive. This means my little sensory seeker has under-receiving receptors and needed more sensory input to feel the same as what a neurotypical peer feels. That sensory seeking spark in him is emerging as fearlessness and adventurous. The dots are finally connecting.

We also found out he does well in school (he loves it) as it has structure and routine, key components to his ADHD development. His teachers are mostly really awesome.

It's too surreal to be a vivacious boy mum after being a gentle girl mum, to speak out against stereotype that boys are rough and girls are not, but that he has neurological imbalances, and his symptoms will evolve as he grow.

Bethany is such a sweet advocate for her brother, she knows about impulse control and everyone has them but some does it better and having awareness can lead to grace for others and self in our response and behaviour. She makes me so proud to be her mum. As does Elijah. I'm so glad they have each other.

At the first wedding, he was unhinged with Bethany trying to hold him back.

The second wedding, he was more subdued as he hid behind Bethany when they walked in so he'll receive less stares. This is him trying to control his urge to run away and Bethany became his solid shield.

I've given up on "eyes at the camera Elijah". I'll take any photos with his silhouette in it and consider it an acceptable family shot. He has his moments but we and the kids will be alright.