Letter to Mabel: Are you in a better place?

We've been sleeping earlier as a family and I quite enjoy having sufficient sleep these days, what with two children to care for. For some reason, I even smile in my sleep. Which is why, I thought of you.

As I opened my eyes, the night is still young. Singing from the getai nearby permeates the otherwise quiet night.

I wonder how you are. Your body may be long gone but your soul - doesn't all souls go to heaven? I wonder if you still look the same? Or are our bodies just a shell?

No matter what you look like, I'm sure I'd recognise you.

This afternoon during our family nap (minus Nick who was at work), I had a supernatural encounter. I saw 'Nick' walked into the room with the door still closed. I heard sounds. I was still in a stupor so I let it be. When I finally fully roused from my sleep, I carried Beth outside to investigate. Hmm no signs of Nick.

I know what I saw and I wasn't the least bit afraid I can tell you that. But it can't be you because your soul is in heaven. Nick thinks I'm dreaming.

I miss you so much. I don't know how you do it, leaving us all behind to grieve over you. I could never do that to my family. But then, I've never been through what you went through. Not fair to compare.

It's gonna sound like a broken record but having you for 33 years is seriously the best thing we could ever have. Thank you for fighting to be born, and then to live for this long.

Your birth as told countless times by Mummy, isn't the easiest birth (legs birth aka lotus birth). Mummy could have died. You could have died. But you fought to live :')

Thank you for fighting Mei. It was a good fight even though you still lost to Depression. But it's okay, it's all over now, and you can be at peace forever.

"Earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust."

Till the day we meet again xx