A letter to Mabel: Aloysius Pang

Mei, if you're still around to witness this, you'll be shocked and saddened by news of Aloysius Pang's death. He's only 28. I like him.

I cried when news of his death broke. I expected him to pull through, he's young and healthy. In the end, his internal injuries were too much for his young body to bear.

When I said I cried, I was actually grieving and mourning his loss. I don't even know him except on TV but I felt his loss so deeply.

I started to miss you so much. His death triggered me emotionally and I couldn't stop moping. I wish you were still here with us on this family staycation which you were always supposed to be a part of.

For the first time in a long while after you died, I was actually happy from within. Until I accidentally called out your name infront of Mummy, Nick & Beth like I was addressing you to do something for me. It felt so natural calling your name that everyone was shocked, especially me. For a split second, I really thought I was crazy. I knew you weren't around anymore, I wasn't delusional. It was a Freudian slip, not sure if it was my first but definitely unusual.

Mummy confessed she still calls you by mistake when she's addressing Papa. It's even harder for her after living together with you for 33 years.

Off topic, I bought this hello kitty beach towel for Beth, I just wanted her to get acquainted with your favourite cartoon character even though I'm not much of a cartoon fan.

Isn't she cute beyond words? I knew you'd approve :)

I'm afraid, mei. Beth is growing very quickly and I don't want her to forget you. It's hard for me to talk about you without sadness but I try to remind her of her awesome yiyi whenever I can. There are a few framed pictures of you and Beth, I hope she'll never forget you even if she has few memories.

Back to Aloysius, Mummy told me she feels heartache for his family. The whole nation is grieving over his irreplaceable loss, as a Parent, Sibling, Friend and Loved ones. It has impacted Singapore so greatly, almost in likeness to the time we mourned heart-wrenchingly for LKY.

A young life gone too soon, leaving behind unfulfilled wishes and unfinished business, just like you mei. I know he's in a good place now, and I hope you meet him in heaven :)

Till we meet again mei xx