She is so full of expressions now and I honestly think she's gonna be your best first niece. She was barely 16 months when you were gone. Watching her grow livelier and more communicative everyday makes me miss you too much. It's a bittersweet feeling not having you here marvelling her milestones together. Mummy was ultra delighted when she spoke her first words with her recently, "don't put" she exclaimed when Mummy stashed her toys away. We were all amazed when she recounted it to us.
I attended the wake of Manda's grandma today. I thought of our beloved Ah ma and of course, you too. I never thought this is how our lives would turn out, with you gone too soon.
I've never stopped thinking of you. I didn't know what grief felt like until now. My heart hurts more often these days. Seems like I'm at the next stage of grief but I can't identify it anymore, even if I try. It's a blur between the lines.
I'm not a big fan of hello kitty but because you are, I bought Beth her first hello kitty - hooded beach towel. You would approve :) I could see your eyes light up at the very thought of it. Her cuteness would make you squeal in delight for sure.
It gets harder every day without you. But we get stronger every day too. Knowing you're safe in Jesus' arms gives me alot of comfort.
Family wise, Nick and I are planning for four children. But who knows what God's plans are. We'll take anything we can :)
Mummy misses you everyday, and I feel so much for her. You were so close to her that if not for Beth, she confessed she don't know if she could have found the will to live on. She's also braver and stronger than I imagine. Losing you made us treasure each other even more, and help our relationship grow even deeper than ever before. I'm also trying to fill your (big) shoes, giving her the same kind of care and fillial piety you'd have given her yourself.
I haven't been in contact with Ronald much but he's still very fillial to Mummy. He bought her favourite kueh lapis for mooncake season knowing I'd definitely buy mooncake for her. I miss how much you dig raffles hotel champagne truffle snowskin and wish I could buy for you again every year.
I'm so thankful for all the memories we had together mei :,)
I customised a canvas family portrait from our last photoshoot with Beth and I'm so so very glad we had that wonderful memory to fall back on :) I've gifted it to Mummy who chose the photo herself, she's super super excited about it. She told me you have a lovely dimpled smile :) I agree.
I've been doing charity and donation on your behalf because you've such a good heart like that. I knew it's something you would have done. It makes me feel good too, helping someone in need. I just want you to be proud of us when you look down from heaven, knowing we are leading meaningful lives xx
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