harbouring a fool within

i typed a nice long entry about reaching out.

but hit Ctrl+A after the momentum has vanished.

and entered delete.

its not meant to be understood. ill bear in mind not to be so silly anymore. ive learnt that you cannot be foolish too many times. once is a lesson, twice is stupidity, thrice is max. fourth spells hopelessness. there shouldnt be a fifth time. sigh. im beyond hope.

ive also figured that you cant base the present situation on things that were said in the past because things can change. words are worthless.

i thought i knew. but who knows? what to do. ill talk about it again when the mood strikes in a better light.