what change? maybe it's just a mood

many things have changed. for better and for worse. i know i have - in both ways. i can't seem to recover from being sick either. funny how i always deny about being weak when i'm sick but yet i'm weaker than i thought i was. sociability wise, i'm a lot quieter than i used to be. talk about wanting to do public relations! maybe i should reconsider. or maybe i just need a nice long rest. i'm running out of steam, i can feel it. subconsciously, i catch myself spacing out frequently. it's not like i'm depressed. but something's definitely bothering me and i need to find out what it is. i'm as clueless as you are.

back then i believed crying my heart out would make me feel better. but it didn't work that way. in reality, i feel worse after several sobs. many in fact. i know i need to put an end to this no matter how. it's depressing and worrying in a way. it's like being crush beneath a boulder.

maybe i'm beat. for some reason, i haven't had a rest in 8 months.

just got back from zouk with ericia, terence and pals. joanne went missing after i left her at members to be with her friends. needless to say, met many people there. never fail to see jason as well. jason aka muthu (some inside joke). i've a love-hate relationship with zouk. i'll spare the ugly details. it's wonderful bumping into old friends - everyone i know goes to zouk. it was a bearable night despite the aggressive crowd (trance crowd are always more violent), lack of dancing space and migraine. i'm glad i'm with the right company. lovely friends make a world of difference. =)

for all i know, this might just be a mood phase.