here's the deal

the truth is harder to accept than i thought.
it's been years.

anyway.. a couple of weeks ago, i went out to get these two books:


i got the author's first book at a book sale for $2 i think and it was fantastic so i bought her next book when i chanced upon it


found a quote in it that i really really like, which i wrote about in an earlier entry

the day i bought the books was an especially sweet day.

the past few weeks has been a frenzy.

attended a good friend's Manhunt finals at heeren one saturday evening last month.


we were supremely proud of him


this was me waiting for josh


qi looks good here


josh


yong an


silly qi


we dined at pasta de waraku


tidbits and beverages at kbox


looking red after wakeboarding


with the couple


silly row


row's hard work at being fair skinned really paid off!


happy to be singing look


tired


lil tidbit monster








supporters at Don's finals


my back suffered for a few days straight after standing for 2-3 hours


chilling at acid bar





jeffrey was introduced to the rest of the anderson gang








yong an taught us a new bad language
gives new meaning to the single digit foul word


my poor attempt at it


with jeff


met up with the girls last monday for meatballs


cat had a change of hairstyle and it's sweet!


tuesday: someone made this drink for everyone in the office


last friday: qi came to my work pad for spa


friday night: impromptu night out at zouk


with girlfriends


apple shooters which i mistook for SOTB


the girls are colleagues but not my colleagues


met muthu every single time at zouk


i had quite a night
i cant even remember what i did or didnt do

which was good.
in a way.

and so, i paid for it dearly the next morning.
had to wake bright and early for a badminton session with the players.

long story short, badminton didnt happen.
instead, we went singing instead.


bernita came along


she was a good sport =)





jx





oldies but goodies





with her friend she hwa





the double digits came out


and infected yong an











old school wan ton mee at the hawker





sha da jie














this was me with puffy eyes after 4 hours of sleep from a night at zouk





mine and josh's minced pork noodles which was raved about by josh
it was good


my supper
will be having more of this if im at mac
its really good!

the following evening on a sunday last week, i went wakeboarding with the guys.


cold weather meant law's head needed 'shelter'


jem - you either love his wicked jokes or you hate it


eddy doing his thang


the sun peeks!


i love love love this pic




















law doing the sun dance?



not such a wordy post after all. im really bushed.

good night world.

today was a blur

i had a weary morning.

a man was nice enough to give me a lil nudge at the train station. i had dozed off while waiting in transit for the next train.

the point is, i was so tired i fell asleep at the train station. unbelievable.

at lunch, i spotted a nutcase having an animated gibberish conversation with an imaginary person. he was just right infront of me. i lost my appetite the moment he decided to blow his nose at the wash basin. he proceeded to stick his head into the basin for the next minute or so. he then circled around our table and gave me this weird stare.

i didnt had a good lunch as you can guess.

but yoga was good. i was well stretched and flexed out. i had an easy class today. no moon salutations, which means new moves for me.

met a cute guy in class. he could be a member. we'll see. guys in yoga are rare. cute guys are rarer. honest.

on a happy note, batam's cable ski is coming up shortly. will make a last attempt at conquering the circuit before refocusing on wakeboarding.

sweet ying rang me up today to ask about celebration. i grinned. turning 25 soon.

i wanted to throw a party but it's unrealistic for now so i might be planning something cosy.

the long weekend is but a day away. everyone has planned for short getaways to neighbouring countries. but i love variety - just an excuse for saying im staying put.

finally revisiting the beach for sand volleyball, frisbee and major chilling about this weekend. it's been a while!

:) i miss those wonderful times.

seriously though. crossing my fingers that my skin will hold up against all these sports and elements.

also saying, i miss good skin!

miracles can happen twice

first sign of pimple on my right cheek.

*panic mode*

diane did its wonderful magic.

i need magic again. but this time, i'll do it my way.

i will seek other options.

hungry

but i lost my appetite.

too tired to eat.
too lazy to move.
too hungry to sleep.

its killing me.

i cant even gather strength for simple activity like talking.

but im meeting someone whom i havent seen in a long time who came all the way to woodlands to find me.

there's no sign of falling sick yet.

but my nose bled the other day.

sigh. time to tone down.

i feel burnt out.

ground rules

i need to be more consistent.

it seems i've all these thoughts in my head clamouring over each other, eager to emerge triumph.

my next step will be whichever thought gain victory.

quite interestingly, i found a reason to continue searching.

love does not deserve a death penalty like i used to say.

admittedly, i took a chance at self consoling.

as i'm upset with me.

it was a loosely planned friday night.

unfortunately, somebody lost his camera. along with our pictures.

yet most unbelievably, i got what i wished for.

*megawatt grin*

a surreal night.

hardly remember stuff.

fooled in april

Fly me to the moon... says (11:56 PM):
*quick!
*load the ikea photos
*then can overide my clubbing photos
*puhlease

kueh kueh - The Original Hedonist says (11:57 PM):
*i cannot load now
*im gg to log off and sleep
*im jaded! tired! shag!
*tmr can?
*hahaha

Fly me to the moon... says (11:57 PM):
*i was crying like hell earlier
*first time...

kueh kueh - The Original Hedonist says (11:57 PM):
*huh?
*serious?

Fly me to the moon... says (11:57 PM):
*i threw stuff

kueh kueh - The Original Hedonist says (11:57 PM):
*what happened?

Fly me to the moon... says (11:57 PM):
*i actually threw the audrey hepburn
*the one hanging on my wall

kueh kueh - The Original Hedonist says (11:58 PM):
*i.. am speechless..

Fly me to the moon... says (11:58 PM):
*thank goodness it wasnt too noisy
*=x

kueh kueh - The Original Hedonist says (11:58 PM):
*family ah?
*ur mom?

Fly me to the moon... says (11:58 PM):
*noo
*its just
*i dont know
*i felt a surge of frustration

Fly me to the moon... says (11:59 PM):
*i threw the bottle of perfume too

kueh kueh - The Original Hedonist says (11:59 PM):
*not sexual frustration i hope

Fly me to the moon... says (11:59 PM):
*gosh
*now my room is smelling like perfume

kueh kueh - The Original Hedonist says (11:59 PM):
*wah
*why girl why..
*perfume expensive leh

Fly me to the moon... says (11:59 PM):
*I dont know..
*maybe..
*sighs
*u know why

kueh kueh - The Original Hedonist says (12:00 AM):
*i know *pats head*

Fly me to the moon... says (12:00 AM):
*really
**touched*
*Happy April Fool's Day Baby.

kueh kueh - The Original Hedonist says (12:00 AM):
*wahahahaha! u crazy bitch!

kueh kueh - The Original Hedonist says (12:01 AM):
*u got me man!

Fly me to the moon... says (12:01 AM):
*Hee

****

Terence says (12:18 AM):
*michelle!!
*ear pain?
*really?
*y like that?

kueh kueh - The Original Hedonist says (12:19 AM):
*=(
*i dont know
*get ericia to tell u

Terence says (12:19 AM):
*eh?
*why is ericia the one telling me about YOUR ear pain

kueh kueh - The Original Hedonist says (12:19 AM):
*im unhappy, sad and wants to sleep

Terence says (12:19 AM):
*?

kueh kueh - The Original Hedonist says (12:19 AM):
*good night terence

Terence says (12:20 AM):
*wa lau!
*really?
*erm...
*alright...
*let me know if i can heal your ear in any way..
*good night michelle.

an inspiring story

a few days ago, i read a quote from Paulo Coelho's latest book that inspired me.

it goes somewhat like this

to keep searching for your soul mate, you have to risk disappointments, rejections and failures.

quotes are such wonderful liners.

pride and fear of rejection stop girls from asking guys out.

when was the last time you asked a guy out?

were you rejected?

human in general are terrified of rejections.

but its worth it because you tried. and you wont regret not knowing if only.

i shared this with my girlfriends and they love it.

i told one of my girlfriend, thinking she'd love it. but she gently chided me and said "why do you need a book to tell you that?"

i agree.

the following is dedicated to a special girl with an inspiring story:

i was moved

but you need to let go

and keep walking tall no matter how.

when dark clouds seem to follow endlessly above, it will eventually clear after the rain.

light will emerge through the darkness again.

i was wrong to tell you "this is life".

this is only one episode of life.

moving on with grace and looking forward to the next chapter helps.

and then i'll welcome you into my world.

i promise i wont tell.

i'll show you that moving on is easier than you think

*hugs*

a becoming tuesday

i met rox! walking goddess. so long never see you grow so tall!

both tired but happy to see each other

finally caught Let The Right One In last night. the viewing was ending soon and i dont wanna miss it. overall great movie with a unique plot. a couple of scenes shocked me but generally, i'd classify it as horror-romance. the grossest scene was decapitation.

the company was lovely and we made new friends. hung out entirely with my good friend's (bx) best buddy's (jeff) good friends. i call them our third degree friends. they were nice people who made polite jokes.

qi was so sweet to come along for the movie even though she was under a lot of stress at work. i felt really bad and wanted her to cheer up. sigh my qi is the silliest sweetheart. im bringing her for a massage next fri! she totally deserves one. row darling got a kick out of chilling and wants to form a party group next. i have a feeling she will get what she wish for =)

maybe there's something i should tell you

childhood indulgence
sorry i broke the rules and had a cup!
weird how i could resist ben&jerry's
but not this.

my appetite is bad. really bad.
when it's good. i suppose it's really mighty good.

my appetite should be bad more often.
this way, my weight stays safe.

out of sight
out of mind

i dont know
i guess i just want to say i've been acting a li'l silly

silly is good
keeps me alive

i always remember the ones whose voices stood out from the pack
i've a knack for it

even if it's fleeting
im glad my heart is beating

maybe that's something i shouldnt tell you.

someone made my day

Claris says:
i was thinking of u n those memories at junction 8 flew into my mind..

Claris says:
heh thats how we click from there..
read ur blog occasionally

Claris says:
im glad u moved on :) really happy for u..

Claris says:
no matter what hairstyle u have changed, i know u are still the sweet gal that i know
always enjoyed talking to u
funny though u are younger than me but u really make a good counsellor!

we hadnt been in touch for a while now that we are both busy. but she was constantly on my mind when i flicked through the contact list in my mobile or when i visit Bishan. more recently, i thought of her again when i was thinking of my long gone belly piercing. she was the special female friend whom had the same fancy idea and so we went to pierce our bellies together. her piercing outlasted mine by mere months.

she is a very unique person. the first ice queen i know. the girl with the cool charisma. the girl with attitude.

oh claris i miss you.

hmm.

i am about to do something drastic to myself.

sis is not encouraging though i really really wanna do it.

i'll give myself 1 week to think.

i honestly think this is a good idea.

anyway, i just did myself a favour and bought a new clutch wallet to replace the old one. i also bought a fitting t-shirt dress for the beach.

i indulge when river island is on a sale.

terence is drinking again tonight, i heard. told cia to tell him on my behalf, to ''keep up the 'good' work!''

i've been standing too much today. my back and feet hurts like crap. cant wait to hurry home!

the welcomed weekend

you know you've been thinking too much when the tiniest mention of someone made your heart skip.

gorgeous friday it is.

i can finally breathe.

gearing up

i cant wait for july to come. and then october.

i look forward to a geographical change.

quart life crisis or not. being 25 is cool. why? i like the stability in finance.

it feels nice to be saving up for something. putting words into action, im setting up a travelling fund for my travelling expenses to redang with the old souls from anderson.

july please be here already.

i decide to roll with the times

had been feeling very out of sorts for the past week.

tonight, at this miraculous moment. it struck me.

this is the quart life crisis i hear people lament about. specifically, my quart life criss-crossed.

how queer to be feeling it myself. im generally a spirited person. no current setback to upset me either. but i am upset. with myself.

these thoughts are surreal.

i like to be more happy by myself than with myself. singularity is fabulous. i cannot discount that theory.

sadly, how this works out to the quart life confusion is that the theory stems from deep seated fear of not being able to handle another failed ...

well, i am okay. a thoughtful night is all im saying.

pictures amassed from the past few days //


new teal bikini


that wakeboarding morning on saturday


new maryjane for work


my passport is expiring
the photos are exactly 10 years apart


bleeding from the nails after a badminton session on sunday


further proof of delicate hands


the girls viv and ber


row and bx


my bedok 85 craving satisfied


bedok 85 delight


dining with special people


tired but happy to be here look


to die for


indulgence


ah balling dessert


eyeliner shopping during lunch on monday


mala steamboat with sheena on tuesday

met up with sheena dear to swap new updates and catch up on the now old gossips. glad to receive fresh perspectives from her once again. we had a wholesome night all to ourselves. gone were the exhilarated giggles and rants. our session was minus manda who had to overtime for her event.

i had an enjoyable night. some people just grows on you =)

ignoring the external world

very seldom will i ignore people.

there is the im right-you're wrong people that i'll ignore.

the type who goes "hi" every single time i log in to messenger.

and there's the ex-es.

other than that, it's really because im tired and being closed up.

i feel very flat right now. very numb and void.

retail therapy

havent done real shopping in god knows how long. i cant even remember the last time i shopped for myself. the only peeve i have with shopping is lugging all the bags around. other than that, im living in a li'l blissful state right now. im not really a fan of shopping. but im one of those people that buys the first thing that catches my attention. real shopping to me is really sensual, not just about stocking up on essentials/groceries. that is already being done to death in my book.

shopping is rewarding

the shopping haul: 3 basic spag tops (different colours), 3 ribbed shorts (same design, different colours), 2 footwear (1 milan maryjane for work, 1 T-front sandals for casual), 1 b/w flirty ensemble (definitely casual), 1 thick grey belt (for work/casual), 1 knit cotton long cardigan (work/casual), 1 teal coloured push up bikini (swim/beach wear), 1 pair of goggles (swimwear), a bunch of hairbands

price: a three figure sum

whoa! the feeling is priceless. i earned myself a worthy membership at the UK fashion house.

lovely!

im gonna try my hands at wakeboarding with the babes tomorrow. new friends. i fret about breaking my shoulders as they've been aching the whole of this week.

never mind that as long as the company is good.

ggreeeeaatt. what an unexpected weekend.

i wish im at zouk tonight.

the priority list

a dramatic morning ensued. inwardly. battled thoughts of confrontation but decided it was meaningless.

saw a note that simply destroyed whatever good mood i was in. miscommunication is underrated. and hurting.

good thing i arrived earlier and managed to hide the note from my same desk coworker. no reason to ruin someone's perfectly good mood like that.

the art of playing dumb came in extremely handy today. there are times where one must refrain from revealing emotions openly. this was one such time.

the evening ended off being rather toned down. i also saw the need to sort out my priority list.

it's been rough but i feel a tinge better already. special thanks for the call to check on me, cia dear!