The Proposal

I can't contain my excitement. He got down on one knee and proposed on our 5th anniversary (30 Jan '15). It still felt so surreal (split second hesitation on how real it was or if I was dreaming). I actually forgot to say yes. My voice was robbed, I basically shoved my bony fingers into his face because there was so much tears in my eyes it fogged my brain. 

Exactly one day earlier before the proposal, I was at a company retreat and a totally random and sudden thought occurred to me that he might just pop the question THIS year. Things have been going beyond exceptional for me since the beginning of the year and I thought a proposal will top it. I just didn't expect it to be so quick, which explains why I was in tears and basically almost a bubbling mess of happiness and surprise when it happened. 

It was a long awaited question that I've patiently waited for years, and I'm so happy he did it on a special day of ours. But nothing surprised me more than the shock and initial confusion I got when I spunned around (thinking I was posing for a snap with my flowers at Ericia's insistence) and saw all the expectant and happy familiar faces. When I think back now, I only started tearing when I saw my family's faces (Mabel & Alina) and only did I realised what was happening. They were the first faces I spotted. 

It all happened so fast. I couldn't stop crying. In my mind, I was actually screaming OMG HE'S GONNA PROPOSE I MUST BASK IN THIS MOMENT BEFORE IT'S GONE. But the truth is I wasn't even listening to what he said (I was screaming with excitement in my head) and had to ask him to repeat what he said afterwards. I've never been so touched in my entire life that since then, I've been crying and tearing every time I think back. It's super special also because it was a dream proposal of mine to have all my family, friends and loved ones witnessing the man I love proposing to me. It was literally everything I wanted it to be. (I'm still crying writing this)

The first time I thought he was gonna propose was when we holidayed in Maldives. My colleagues had put that thought into my head. And I even jokingly asked him about it and he said not to expect much in a rather non-commital and reluctant manner. I knew he was trying to manage my expectations. But I still couldn't help thinking if it was gonna happen the entire trip. Especially when he planned a super romantic dinner by the beach and took me on a BLINDFOLDED long stroll before reaching a private and quiet beach with a beautiful setup - a decorated table in a circle of candles and flowers. I thought that was it. But it didn't happen. And my hopes of it happening just diminishes with time. Blindfolded! Can you imagine how fast my heart was beating? And can you imagine the incredulity that there was NO proposal at the most romantic place on earth? Yup that's the story of my life. Or so I thought. 

It meant so much to me because I've long accepted him as part of my life forever. After going through so much together, it felt nice to know he not only feels the same way but planned to seal it with a commitment. It was the best gift and will continue to be for a long time.

I also received the best proposal gift. A gorgeous amethyst ring that he handpicked with Ericia (whose opinion I specifically mentioned he should go for when required for ring shopping) and a beautiful white leather strapped and diamond encrusted watch with automatic movements (I shared how I wanted an automatic watch during our cruise last December but he told me afterwards he has bought the watch more than 6 months ago, long before our cruise). Knowing he was the one who decided on the watch made me realised how much I meant to him. 

I'm still reeling with happiness. Having all my favourite people in one room is indescribable. To imagine that preparations started last year and that they all knew from weeks to months ago prior to this just made me feel so undeserving and truly truly well loved. It felt like when you really want something so badly, all the universe conspires to help you achieve it. 

I've a fiancé now. A wonderful man I can entrust my whole life to and grow old and spiritually rich with. And though I know I said we've no plans to get married after the proposal, we're actually spontaneously planning for it to coincide with our Anniversary next year. It's gonna be 3-in-1 - the day we got together, our anniversary and our wedding date. 

I thought about what I should have said in my proposal speech and realised how many people openly expressed they actually thought I could have twisted Nick around my little finger and maybe even made him cry in the beginning. It certainly isn't true now. How things have changed. How he's grown to be so sensitive and caring but yet able to lead and guide me in our relationship. And look who's the one crying now? We've grown to be equals :) And as we continue in our walk with God, I know he'll continue to grow with me in every aspect of our lives. 

Despite our jarring differences, we persevered and everything worked out. If we're not an encouraging case study, I don't know what we are. 

I can't wait to break the news of our wedding date (tentative for now). It's gonna be a blast!

UPDATE: WEDDING DATE IS ON 30 JANUARY 2016, THE VERY DAY WE GOT TOGETHER 6 YEARS AGO. DOUBLE CELEBRATION!